There are certain things you must do to keep your love strong. This flippant mentality on relationships is exactly why our divorce rate is so high and our interpersonal relationships are so impersonal. On a personal note, I’ve fallen into this type of thinking before. We are both going through financial hardship and I love him to death and would eventually like more out of the relationship. Financial challenges can affect your relationship in different ways. And that includes the ability to pay for the outings. Thank you ladies! What do you need, what do you want? On the other hand, if you accept him, he’ll probably see things for the illusion that they really are. xo. However, he suddenly gets laid off from one job to another and gets a bit picky on finding a job so I end up paying the rent, bills and the car. I was also planning to give him surprises and make him feel special and tell him that he is worth. Sign up for ourfree newsletterand get a free chapterof our book,"He's NotThat Complicated". He has lost many clients and income. Men are constantly fed with impressions that lure them into thinking that self-sabotaging behaviors will reward them and should be pursued. Now he is behind in all of his bills including rent. . Your offers are emasculating him. It sucks that men feel this way. I asked him are you saying this because you’ve found someone else or already seeing someone else and he said no, I don’t have time to even think about a relationship right now. Published. . Affairs/infidelity/cheating – these problems definitely require help. Ongoing financial problems can be a sign your partner isn't prioritizing you, Tessina says, and that they lack self control. We only dated a month when he told me he liked but he wasn’t ready to go further due to the fact he had to get his act together ( he mentioned the living at home thing) While we weren’t that serious yet, it left me bummed that it was me and he just lost interest and was trying to be nice. If his lack of employment is due to the type of work he does or a recession, you need to express your concerns to him. I’ve been dating someone for a couple months now and, like a lot of people, he is experiencing financial difficulties. . This can be a concern for a number of reasons, one of which is he might think the world owes him something that he doesn't have to work for or pay back. But I can relate to your post. I am a pretty loyal person, so right now I don’t think I could see other people. But on the same night, he send me a text asking me to hate him. Maybe that means 20 minutes per day, maybe it means an hour you carve out every week. We’re in our 30s and yes my dream is to get married and have a family but emotionally i can’t even get there to the point where i can love another entirely. I am known as a saver and I found what appears to be a spender. I agree that it is probably best not to remain in limbo, but it would depend on the situation. He doesn’t have money, doesn’t have a job, and has so many bills to pay for. We gals really need to know, this is not a unique situation. If he gets defensive or just gives you another excuse, then you might want to recommend that he seek help. I work hard in NYC and I met a man that has a great job, but is in the negative. What ever happened to loyalty and working hard at relationships? I have been dating this guy for 2 years. So I went back to Craigslist (I got my lady car off there also a while back, u win some on C.L u loose some) in search of a temporary ride just until I had enough bred to get something more reliable. He said he felt emasculated by making me pancakes! He has a job but it’s not the best paying. I told him I want to continue seeing him because I like him a lot. I am not saying to try and solve his problem. It should go away soon, after a date or two, as a man … I am sooooo tempted to contact him, but I guess I should wait for him to contact me… Right? One of the biggest issues you might face may have to do with money. I am not saying to comfort him. Hey aj, While you don't have to agree fully on how you both spend your money, if you have completely opposite views on money, this can lead to a number of relationship problems. But nobody wants to admit it and everyone remains in “relationship limbo” where there’s no relationship but no possibility of moving on either. Major thankies for the article.Really thank you! A lot of guys fall into the trap of measuring their self-worth based upon how much money they make, what kind of job they have and their overall financial situation. 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